Nothing in the repo pushes to, authenticates against, or is gated by Uptime
Kuma any more.
── The sixth instance of the banner bug ────────────────────────────────────
memos had `Restart memos` guarded by `uptime_kuma_enabled`, because the
deprecation banner was placed immediately above it and swept it in. It is a
HANDLER, so every memos config change since 2026-09-11 applied to disk and
silently never restarted the service. Ungated.
That is the same failure found in forgejo-runner's self-assert, phoenixd's timer
enable, mempool's three timer enables, fulcrum's restart handler and bitcoind's
restart handler. Every guard was read and asked "monitoring or deployment?"
before being deleted, which is the only reason this was caught.
── What was removed ────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
30 uptime_kuma_enabled guards across 7 unconverted service playbooks, and
the 29 Kuma monitor-creation tasks they gated (embedded Python that drove
the Kuma API, temp credential files, cleanup)
7 dead uptime_kuma_api_url definitions
7 stale DEPRECATED banners
uptime_kuma_enabled and subdomains.uptime_kuma from group_vars/all
healthcheck_push_urls from the vault - 30 push tokens
services/ntfy/setup_ntfy_uptime_kuma_notification.yml -> archive/
The explanatory comments in the six converted roles are KEPT on purpose. They
record why a handler is ungated, and deleting the explanation invites someone
to helpfully re-add the guard.
── The probes moved rather than died ───────────────────────────────────────
Eight per-service health checks were still pushing to Kuma. They are not
superseded by infra/401: that answers "is the unit running", these answer "does
the service actually respond" - an RPC call to bitcoind, a TCP connect to
Fulcrum's Electrum port, an HTTP fetch from Mempool's backend. A process can be
perfectly `active` and useless.
So they were repointed, not deleted. Gatus external endpoints take a POST with
a bearer token and success=true|false where Kuma took a GET with ?status=up, so
report() now maps up/down to true/false internally and no call site changed.
Registered by infra/403 as the `probe` group, one token per host.
Two bugs fixed while in there:
* forgejo-runner's check only ever reported SUCCESS - it exited before pushing
when the runner was down, so a failure was invisible until the heartbeat
window expired. Reporting the failure is the entire point of a check.
* All six healthcheck .service units were mode 0644 and now carry a bearer
token. They are 0600.
Verified: 91 endpoints, 91 UP, 0 DOWN. Every probe triggered by hand and
confirmed arriving. Zero Kuma URLs left in the vault, zero live references in
any playbook or role.
Still standing, deliberately: the Kuma container on watchtower, its Caddy vhost,
and the uptime.contrapeso.xyz DNS record. Turning the service off is a separate
decision from removing the code that talked to it.
Co-Authored-By: Claude Opus 5 (1M context) <noreply@anthropic.com>
745-line playbook becomes 37 lines (the role, plus the Caddy play for the edge
host) and a 408-line role with docker/deploy/healthcheck phases and six
templates. mempool_vars.yml is deleted; its content is the role's defaults.
Three health checks are kept, not collapsed: Mempool is three moving parts and
knowing which one is down is the point. Each has its own script, unit, timer and
push_url, driven by a mempool_healthchecks list. The Uptime Kuma specifics are
gone - the embedded Python creating monitors over the API, the /tmp credentials
file, the push-URL file read back and parsed, three Environment= rewrites - and
the three live push URLs are preserved from the vault, so reporting is unchanged.
`Enable and start health check timers` and `Display deployment status` were both
guarded by uptime_kuma_enabled despite being deployment tasks. Third service in
a row with that pattern: the deprecation banner was applied to contiguous blocks,
so anything sitting near the push plumbing was disabled with it. Ungated.
TWO OWNERSHIP PROBLEMS, different in kind:
- MINE: I wrote `owner: root` on docker-compose.yml where the original says
`owner: "{{ ansible_user }}"`. A straight violation of extract-mechanically-
change-nothing, caught only by reading the check-mode diff line by line.
Reverted to match the original.
- PRE-EXISTING, and dangerous: the playbook declared
`owner: "{{ ansible_user }}"` (1000) on the MariaDB data directory, which the
container owns as uid 999. Confirmed against `git show HEAD:` before
concluding it was not mine. It had drifted since the containers were created
and went unnoticed because the playbook had not been run since.
This was not academic. The first real run pulled a newer mariadb:10.11 and
recreated mempool-db; with the chown still in place MariaDB would have come
back to a data directory it could not write. The role now ensures the
directory exists and leaves ownership to the container. Verified after the
run: /opt/mempool/mysql is still 999:999 and all three containers are healthy.
This is a deliberate behaviour change, not part of the extraction. It is in
this commit rather than a follow-up because the faithful version was never
safe to run, so there was no intermediate state worth recording as verified.
mempool_frontend_port moved to services_config.yml: two hosts need it (this role
deploys the frontend, the Caddy play proxies to it from the edge host) and a role
default is invisible to the second play. caddy_site's parameter assert caught
this loudly - "'mempool_frontend_port' is undefined" - rather than silently.
Verified: check-mode diff clean apart from unavoidable check-mode artifacts;
first run ok=24 changed=5, zero failures; second run changed=2 - the two bare
`command:` tasks (pull, compose up) that have no changed_when and always report
changed. That is the idempotent floor. All three health checks report
ExecMainStatus 0 with their push URLs intact.
Co-Authored-By: Claude Opus 5 (1M context) <noreply@anthropic.com>
