Nothing in the repo pushes to, authenticates against, or is gated by Uptime
Kuma any more.
── The sixth instance of the banner bug ────────────────────────────────────
memos had `Restart memos` guarded by `uptime_kuma_enabled`, because the
deprecation banner was placed immediately above it and swept it in. It is a
HANDLER, so every memos config change since 2026-09-11 applied to disk and
silently never restarted the service. Ungated.
That is the same failure found in forgejo-runner's self-assert, phoenixd's timer
enable, mempool's three timer enables, fulcrum's restart handler and bitcoind's
restart handler. Every guard was read and asked "monitoring or deployment?"
before being deleted, which is the only reason this was caught.
── What was removed ────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
30 uptime_kuma_enabled guards across 7 unconverted service playbooks, and
the 29 Kuma monitor-creation tasks they gated (embedded Python that drove
the Kuma API, temp credential files, cleanup)
7 dead uptime_kuma_api_url definitions
7 stale DEPRECATED banners
uptime_kuma_enabled and subdomains.uptime_kuma from group_vars/all
healthcheck_push_urls from the vault - 30 push tokens
services/ntfy/setup_ntfy_uptime_kuma_notification.yml -> archive/
The explanatory comments in the six converted roles are KEPT on purpose. They
record why a handler is ungated, and deleting the explanation invites someone
to helpfully re-add the guard.
── The probes moved rather than died ───────────────────────────────────────
Eight per-service health checks were still pushing to Kuma. They are not
superseded by infra/401: that answers "is the unit running", these answer "does
the service actually respond" - an RPC call to bitcoind, a TCP connect to
Fulcrum's Electrum port, an HTTP fetch from Mempool's backend. A process can be
perfectly `active` and useless.
So they were repointed, not deleted. Gatus external endpoints take a POST with
a bearer token and success=true|false where Kuma took a GET with ?status=up, so
report() now maps up/down to true/false internally and no call site changed.
Registered by infra/403 as the `probe` group, one token per host.
Two bugs fixed while in there:
* forgejo-runner's check only ever reported SUCCESS - it exited before pushing
when the runner was down, so a failure was invisible until the heartbeat
window expired. Reporting the failure is the entire point of a check.
* All six healthcheck .service units were mode 0644 and now carry a bearer
token. They are 0600.
Verified: 91 endpoints, 91 UP, 0 DOWN. Every probe triggered by hand and
confirmed arriving. Zero Kuma URLs left in the vault, zero live references in
any playbook or role.
Still standing, deliberately: the Kuma container on watchtower, its Caddy vhost,
and the uptime.contrapeso.xyz DNS record. Turning the service off is a separate
decision from removing the code that talked to it.
Co-Authored-By: Claude Opus 5 (1M context) <noreply@anthropic.com>
685-line playbook becomes 33 lines plus a 426-line role
(install/service/healthcheck phases, six templates, one handler).
fulcrum_vars.yml is deleted; its content is the role's defaults.
Verified: fulcrum untouched - active since 2026-07-29 (no restart), 192G datadir,
height 966842, bitcoind and db_mem unchanged on disk. Second run changed=1 (the
arming run, changed_when: false aside). vipy changed=0.
THREE PRE-EXISTING LANDMINES the check-mode diff caught, any of which a faithful
extraction would have detonated:
- bitcoin_rpc_host was "192.168.1.140", commented "IP of knots_box_local". But
.140 is fulcrum-box ITSELF; knots-box is .135. The DHCP leases had reshuffled -
the fifth instance of this same disease in this estate. The live config had
been hand-corrected to knots-box; running the playbook would have reverted it
and pointed Fulcrum at itself. Now addressed by Tailscale name.
- The `Restart fulcrum` handler was guarded by uptime_kuma_enabled, so the three
tasks that notify it (SSL cert, fulcrum.conf, systemd unit) could not restart
anything. A config change applied to disk, reported success, and silently never
took effect. That is worse than the other banner casualties: it makes the
deployment itself lie. Ungated.
- db_mem was about to go 2048 -> 4448 (75% of 5931MB RAM), leaving ~1.4GB for the
OS and Fulcrum's non-cache memory. The live value had been hand-tuned down.
fulcrum_db_mem_mb_override pins it. Note set_fact outranks role defaults, so
the calculation itself has to honour the override.
MY OWN ERROR, third instance: retyping `copy:` as `template:` lost `owner:` on
the banner and on fulcrum.conf. Rather than keep catching these by eye, every
managed path's owner/group/mode is now compared against `git show HEAD:`
mechanically - 12/12 match.
The health check timer had not fired since 2026-02-17 while reporting `active`
and `enabled`. It is OnBootSec + OnUnitActiveSec with no OnCalendar: OnBootSec
elapses once, and OnUnitActiveSec needs the SERVICE to have run this boot to have
anything to schedule from. Restarting the timer does not supply that; running the
service does, so the role now runs the check once after enabling. Also dropped
`Requires=fulcrum.service` from the timer - on a timer that means "stop watching
when the watched thing stops".
Diagnostic note: NextElapseUSecRealtime is always empty for a monotonic timer, so
it reads as broken even when healthy. I misread it once and wrongly called the
timer dead. Use NextElapseUSecMonotonic or systemctl list-timers.
fulcrum_ssl_port and fulcrum_tailscale_hostname moved to services_config.yml -
the socket-proxy play on the edge host needs them and a role default cannot reach
a second play.
Co-Authored-By: Claude Opus 5 (1M context) <noreply@anthropic.com>
