archive: record Uptime Kuma monitors and setup before decommissioning

Captured from the live instance rather than the repo: the playbooks created 17
monitors, the server had 75. The rest existed only in the UI. Push tokens are
excluded deliberately — they are live credentials.

Co-Authored-By: Claude Opus 5 (1M context) <noreply@anthropic.com>

archive/uptime_kuma/MONITORS.md

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+# Uptime Kuma — monitor inventory (archived)
+
+Captured from the live instance at `https://uptime.contrapeso.xyz` on 2026-09-11,
+immediately before decommissioning. This is the **authoritative** record: most of
+these monitors existed only in the Uptime Kuma UI and were never described by any
+playbook in this repo.
+
+**75 monitors total** — 16 group, 8 http, 3 port, 48 push. All were active.
+
+Push tokens are deliberately **not** recorded here: they are live credentials, and
+anything holding one could report a false 'up'. They die with the server.
+
+---
+
+## arbret - production  *(7 monitors)*
+
+| Monitor | Type | Target | Interval | Notes |
+|---|---|---|---|---|
+| arbret.com - arbret-analytics | push | — | 120s | Healthy when timer is scheduled and last run succeeded |
+| arbret.com - arbret-backup | push | — | 120s | Healthy when timer is scheduled and last run succeeded |
+| arbret.com - arbret-server | push | — | 120s | Healthy when arbret-server.service is active |
+| arbret.com - arbret-worker | push | — | 120s | Healthy when arbret-worker.service is active |
+| arbret.com - health | push | — | 120s | Healthy when GET /api/health returns status ok |
+| arbret.com - https | push | — | 120s | Healthy when HTTPS front-door returns 200 |
+| arbret.com - postgresql | push | — | 120s | Healthy when postgresql.service is active |
+
+## arbret - staging  *(7 monitors)*
+
+| Monitor | Type | Target | Interval | Notes |
+|---|---|---|---|---|
+| arbretstaging.contrapeso.xyz - arbret-analytics | push | — | 120s | Healthy when timer is scheduled and last run succeeded |
+| arbretstaging.contrapeso.xyz - arbret-backup | push | — | 120s | Healthy when timer is scheduled and last run succeeded |
+| arbretstaging.contrapeso.xyz - arbret-server | push | — | 120s | Healthy when arbret-server.service is active |
+| arbretstaging.contrapeso.xyz - arbret-worker | push | — | 120s | Healthy when arbret-worker.service is active |
+| arbretstaging.contrapeso.xyz - health | push | — | 120s | Healthy when GET /api/health returns status ok |
+| arbretstaging.contrapeso.xyz - https | push | — | 120s | Healthy when HTTPS front-door returns 200 |
+| arbretstaging.contrapeso.xyz - postgresql | push | — | 120s | Healthy when postgresql.service is active |
+
+## arbret-staging-box - infra  *(2 monitors)*
+
+| Monitor | Type | Target | Interval | Notes |
+|---|---|---|---|---|
+| disk-usage-arbret-staging-box-root | push | — | 960s | upside-down, Disk Usage: arbret-staging-box (/) - Alerts when usage excee |
+| system-healthcheck-arbret-staging-box | push | — | 90s | System Healthcheck: arbret-staging-box - Regular healthcheck |
+
+## forgejo-runner-box - infra  *(2 monitors)*
+
+| Monitor | Type | Target | Interval | Notes |
+|---|---|---|---|---|
+| disk-usage-forgejo-runner-box-root | push | — | 960s | upside-down, Disk Usage: forgejo-runner-box (/) - Alerts when usage excee |
+| system-healthcheck-forgejo-runner-box | push | — | 90s | System Healthcheck: forgejo-runner-box - Regular healthcheck |
+
+## fulcrum-box - infra  *(2 monitors)*
+
+| Monitor | Type | Target | Interval | Notes |
+|---|---|---|---|---|
+| disk-usage-fulcrum-box-root | push | — | 960s | upside-down, Disk Usage: fulcrum-box (/) - Alerts when usage exceeds 80% |
+| system-healthcheck-fulcrum-box | push | — | 90s | System Healthcheck: fulcrum-box - Regular healthcheck ping e |
+
+## knots-box - infra  *(2 monitors)*
+
+| Monitor | Type | Target | Interval | Notes |
+|---|---|---|---|---|
+| disk-usage-knots-box-root | push | — | 960s | upside-down, Disk Usage: knots-box (/) - Alerts when usage exceeds 80% |
+| system-healthcheck-knots-box | push | — | 90s | System Healthcheck: knots-box - Regular healthcheck ping eve |
+
+## memos-box - infra  *(2 monitors)*
+
+| Monitor | Type | Target | Interval | Notes |
+|---|---|---|---|---|
+| disk-usage-memos-box-root | push | — | 960s | upside-down, Disk Usage: memos-box (/) - Alerts when usage exceeds 80% |
+| system-healthcheck-memos-box | push | — | 90s | System Healthcheck: memos-box - Regular healthcheck ping eve |
+
+## mempool-box - infra  *(2 monitors)*
+
+| Monitor | Type | Target | Interval | Notes |
+|---|---|---|---|---|
+| disk-usage-mempool-box-root | push | — | 960s | upside-down, Disk Usage: mempool-box (/) - Alerts when usage exceeds 80% |
+| system-healthcheck-mempool-box | push | — | 90s | System Healthcheck: mempool-box - Regular healthcheck ping e |
+
+## nodito - infra  *(4 monitors)*
+
+| Monitor | Type | Target | Interval | Notes |
+|---|---|---|---|---|
+| UPS ONLINE | push | https:// | 90s | — |
+| cpu-temp-nodito | push | — | 120s | upside-down, CPU Temperature: nodito - Alerts when temperature exceeds 80 |
+| system-healthcheck-nodito | push | — | 300s | System Healthcheck: nodito - Regular healthcheck ping every  |
+| zfs-health-nodito | push | — | 90000s | ZFS Pool Health: nodito - Daily health check for pool proxmo |
+
+## nonkeiwaisi-box - infra  *(0 monitors)*
+
+_(empty)_
+
+## prd-arbret - infra  *(2 monitors)*
+
+| Monitor | Type | Target | Interval | Notes |
+|---|---|---|---|---|
+| disk-usage-prd-arbret-root | push | — | 960s | upside-down, Disk Usage: prd-arbret (/) - Alerts when usage exceeds 80% |
+| system-healthcheck-prd-arbret | push | — | 90s | System Healthcheck: prd-arbret - Regular healthcheck ping ev |
+
+## prd-spacey - infra  *(2 monitors)*
+
+| Monitor | Type | Target | Interval | Notes |
+|---|---|---|---|---|
+| disk-usage-prd-spacey-root | push | — | 960s | upside-down, Disk Usage: prd-spacey (/) - Alerts when usage exceeds 80% |
+| system-healthcheck-prd-spacey | push | — | 90s | System Healthcheck: prd-spacey - Regular healthcheck ping ev |
+
+## prd-vipy - infra  *(2 monitors)*
+
+| Monitor | Type | Target | Interval | Notes |
+|---|---|---|---|---|
+| disk-usage-prd-vipy-root | push | — | 960s | upside-down, Disk Usage: prd-vipy (/) - Alerts when usage exceeds 80% |
+| system-healthcheck-prd-vipy | push | — | 90s | System Healthcheck: prd-vipy - Regular healthcheck ping ever |
+
+## prd-watchtower - infra  *(2 monitors)*
+
+| Monitor | Type | Target | Interval | Notes |
+|---|---|---|---|---|
+| disk-usage-prd-watchtower-root | push | — | 960s | upside-down, Disk Usage: prd-watchtower (/) - Alerts when usage exceeds 8 |
+| system-healthcheck-prd-watchtower | push | — | 90s | System Healthcheck: prd-watchtower - Regular healthcheck pin |
+
+## services  *(19 monitors)*
+
+| Monitor | Type | Target | Interval | Notes |
+|---|---|---|---|---|
+| Forgejo | http | https://forgejo.contrapeso.xyz/api/healthz | 90s | — |
+| Headscale | http | https://headscale.contrapeso.xyz/health | 60s | — |
+| LNBits | http | https://wallet.contrapeso.xyz/api/v1/health | 60s | — |
+| Memos | http | https://memos.contrapeso.xyz/healthz | 60s | — |
+| Mempool Public Access | http | https://mempool.contrapeso.xyz | 60s | — |
+| Personal Blog | http | https://pablohere.contrapeso.xyz | 60s | — |
+| Vaultwarden | http | https://vault.contrapeso.xyz/alive | 60s | — |
+| ntfy-emergency-app | http | https://avisame.contrapeso.xyz | 60s | — |
+| Bitcoin Knots P2P Public | port | 167.172.107.33:8333 | 60s | — |
+| DATUM Stratum (public) | port | 167.172.107.33:23334 | 60s | — |
+| Fulcrum SSL Public | port | 167.172.107.33:50002 | 60s | — |
+| Bitcoin Knots | push | — | 90s | — |
+| DATUM Gateway | push | — | 90s | — |
+| Fulcrum | push | — | 90s | — |
+| Mempool Backend | push | — | 180s | — |
+| Mempool Frontend | push | — | 90s | — |
+| Mempool MariaDB | push | — | 90s | — |
+| Phoenixd | push | — | 90s | — |
+| forgejo-runner-healthcheck | push | — | 90s | Forgejo Runner healthcheck - ping every 60s |
+
+## small-backups-box - infra  *(2 monitors)*
+
+| Monitor | Type | Target | Interval | Notes |
+|---|---|---|---|---|
+| disk-usage-small-backups-box-root | push | — | 960s | upside-down, Disk Usage: small-backups-box (/) - Alerts when usage exceed |
+| system-healthcheck-small-backups-box | push | — | 90s | System Healthcheck: small-backups-box - Regular healthcheck  |
+

archive/uptime_kuma/README.md

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+# Uptime Kuma — archived
+
+Uptime Kuma was the monitoring stack for this infrastructure until **2026-09-11**, when
+it was decommissioned. Everything that referenced it has been removed from the live
+playbooks; this folder is the record of what it was, kept so the setup can be understood
+later without digging through git history.
+
+## Contents
+
+| File | What it is |
+|---|---|
+| `MONITORS.md` | Every monitor that existed, grouped as it was in the UI. The authoritative record. |
+| `monitors.json` | The same data, machine-readable, as returned by the API. |
+| `deploy_uptime_kuma_playbook.yml` | How the server itself was deployed (Docker Compose on `monitoring`, behind Caddy). |
+| `uptime_kuma_vars.yml` | Variables the deploy playbook needed — it is unreadable without these. |
+| `setup_backup_uptime_kuma_to_lapy.yml` | How its data was backed up, and to where. Useful when disposing of the old volumes. |
+
+## Why the inventory was captured from the live server, not the repo
+
+The playbooks only ever created **17** monitors. The live instance had **75**. The
+difference was created by hand in the UI and existed nowhere else — so a repo-derived
+list would have silently lost two thirds of the picture. `MONITORS.md` is a snapshot of
+the real thing, taken immediately before removal.
+
+Push tokens are deliberately excluded. They are live credentials — anything holding one
+can report a false "up" — and they become meaningless once the server is gone.
+
+## What removal did NOT do
+
+Removing the playbook code does not touch the machines. **48 push monitors** were driven
+by scripts and systemd timers installed *on the hosts*, which keep firing on their
+schedule and curling an endpoint that no longer answers. They are harmless but they are
+still there, writing logs and failing quietly.
+
+Left behind, per host:
+
+- `/opt/disk-monitoring` + `disk-usage-monitor.{service,timer}` — on all 12 `managed` hosts
+- `/opt/system-healthcheck` + `system-healthcheck.{service,timer}` — on all 12 `managed` hosts
+- `/opt/nodito-monitoring` + `nodito-cpu-temp-monitor.{service,timer}` — `nodito`
+- `/opt/zfs-monitoring` — `nodito`
+- `/opt/ups-monitoring` — `nodito`
+- `bitcoin-knots-healthcheck.{service,timer}` — `bitcoin`
+- `datum-gateway-healthcheck.{service,timer}` — `bitcoin`
+- `fulcrum-healthcheck.{service,timer}` — `electrum`
+- `mempool-{backend,frontend,mariadb}-healthcheck.service` — `mempool`
+- phoenixd and forgejo-runner healthcheck units — `edge`, `ci_runner`
+
+Note `nut-monitor.service` on `nodito` is **NUT's own daemon**, not a monitoring
+leftover — do not remove it with the rest.
+
+Cleaning these up is a separate decommissioning pass and was not part of the removal.