diff --git a/ansible/requirements.yml b/ansible/requirements.yml
index dd7eef4..16ef1fd 100644
--- a/ansible/requirements.yml
+++ b/ansible/requirements.yml
@@ -1,11 +1,10 @@
----
 # Ansible Galaxy Collections Requirements
 # Install with: ansible-galaxy collection install -r requirements.yml
 
-collections:
-  # Uptime Kuma Ansible Collection
-  # Used by: infra/41_disk_usage_alerts.yml
-  # Provides modules to manage Uptime Kuma monitors programmatically
-  - name: lucasheld.uptime_kuma
-    version: ">=1.0.0"
+# No collections are currently required.
+#
+# lucasheld.uptime_kuma was pinned here but never used — every monitor was created
+# by hand-rolled Python instead. Removed 2026-09-11 along with Uptime Kuma itself.
+# See archive/uptime_kuma/.
 
+collections: []
diff --git a/ansible/services_config.yml b/ansible/services_config.yml
index 1bc9db0..a20c853 100644
--- a/ansible/services_config.yml
+++ b/ansible/services_config.yml
@@ -5,6 +5,9 @@
 subdomains:
   # Monitoring Services (on watchtower)
   ntfy: ntfy
+  # DEPRECATED 2026-09-11 — Uptime Kuma is decommissioned and this subdomain no
+  # longer resolves to anything. Kept only because the deprecated monitoring
+  # blocks still template it into uptime_kuma_api_url. See archive/uptime_kuma/.
   uptime_kuma: uptime
   
   # VPN Infrastructure (on spacey)
diff --git a/requirements.txt b/requirements.txt
index 972dc4f..653523e 100644
--- a/requirements.txt
+++ b/requirements.txt
@@ -8,4 +8,7 @@ packaging==25.0
 pycparser==2.22
 PyYAML==6.0.2
 resolvelib==1.0.1
+# Only needed by the deprecated Uptime Kuma monitoring blocks, which are kept for
+# reference but never run (uptime_kuma_enabled: false). Drop this once they are
+# rewired to a replacement. See archive/uptime_kuma/.
 uptime-kuma-api>=1.2.1